Being able to answer a HELL YES! to both of these questions took me a lot of healing.
I think Tina Fey embodies the pressure that each of us feels perfectly,
“Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old-boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”
No shade Kim, but talk about pressure!
Truly loving my body, and believing that it loves me back, has been a radical act of self-love. An act of pure rebellion.
Quantum Science and Energy Medicine
When I started to think about it from the self-love / rebellion perspective, I felt — dare I say — empowered.
You can change your health by changing your behavior and your environment.
Everything is energy.
Change your energetic vibration. Change your life.
That’s not my opinion, that’s quantum science and energy medicine.
What you think
What you expect
What you intend
Has a tremendous influence over what transpires in your life.
Do You Love Your Body? Do You Believe That Your Body Loves You Back?
In my youth, I was a chronic meal skipper. Anytime I was stressed — which was always — I skipped meals. I could go weeks without eating (I’m not exaggerating). My “discipline” was met with high fives.
“ I wish I was as disciplined as you! Maybe I would be able to achieve the body you have.”
The inevitable binge would come, and again, I was met with high fives.
“ I wish I could eat like you! If I had your body, I would.
I always stood there. Dumbfounded. Silenced. Sinking.
I didn’t know what to say. Or how to ask for help.
Your Demons Are Your Invitation To Heal
As I got older, it became rather clear to me that this starve / binge pattern was a coping mechanism. One that was no longer serving me.
I wanted to make a change. In fact, I had tried many times. Every time I failed, I felt more helpless. More alone. A victim.
However, I was aware — through my body work — that you cannot take a pattern or habit away without replacing it.
There are needs:
These needs MUST be met. They DESERVE to be met.
Attempting to suppress them or be rid of them is where the futility lies.
Create a S.M.A.R.T Goal
A S.M.A.R.T. goal has the following elements:
Despite my failed attempts, I tried again. I’m a bit of a junk yard dog in that way. :)
This time, to create my change, I focused on one S.M.A.R.T goal.
Eat three meals and two snacks every day for one year
Sounds simple right?
Some days, that goal felt out of reach. I was committed though. I was determined to shift this pattern. I connected to my S.M.A.R.T goal every day.
In that entire year, I only missed three meals. When I messed up and reached for my old pattern, I met myself with compassion and love.
By consistently nourishing myself, a love was born. From that foundation of love, the underlying feelings that created the binge / starve pattern in the first place began to rise to the surface.
I could finally feel what needs were not being met. That awareness allowed me to make a new choice. Choices that were rooted in love instead of fear.
Time + Consistency = Change
Please don’t place an impossible expectation on yourself that your relationship to your body can change overnight. In fact, even now, once in a while that old pattern of binging / starving pays me a visit.
When it shows up, I get curious.
I invite it in, like an old friend and ask,
“What have you come to show me that I still haven’t seen?”
You Are A Work Of Art
Whether you’re grappling with an injury, body image issues, or you’re just in need of a little more self-love, you are your own masterpiece. It may take a lifetime to sculpt yourself out of that stone, but you’re worth it. Besides, inner work is all their really is.
So…Are you willing to carve yourself out of that block of stone?
To honor yourself in that way would be a radical act of self-love…and rebellion. ;-)